Weekend Reads: Micro Edition

Early October is a special time on the college calendar. Undergrads grit their teeth in anticipation of mid-term exams, the Seminoles experience their yearly swoon, and frosh throughout the nation finally realize – not a moment too soon – that laundry machines exist for a reason. The most predictable of early autumn college rituals, however, may be the annual media panic over alcohol abuse.

This year, “butt-chugging” has titillated the media. University of Tennessee student Alexander Broughton has become something of a minor celebrity, having given himself alcohol poisoning – a .45 blood-alcohol content upon his arrival at the University of Tennessee Medical Center – through…*ahem*…anal infusion. Mr. Broughton vehemently denies providing himself with an alcohol enema. According to recent reports, he is planning on suing someone because, you see, he’s a Christian and being accused of “butt-chugging” implies that he’s gay. Or something. For their part, police are skeptical, having found a plastic bag of wine (a rose, for the record) beside pools of Broughton’s blood in the frat’s bathroom.

Does this story of alcohol poisoning, self-abuse, suspended fraternities, thinly-veiled homophobia, and frivolous lawsuits really constitute news? Probably not. You probably couldn’t find a better slice of 2012 fraternity life, though.